Long goodbye

I’VE HEARD IT called “the long goodbye”, and sadly one of our friends has been diagnosed with it – dementia.

Not that it’s come exactly as a surprise. Fran has been showing memory problems for some time now.

She forgets what she’s done even a short while ago, she cannot remember people’s names nor even where she is sometimes…

And it’s even sadder that she and Den only married four years ago.

Watching the decline of someone you love in this way is heart-breaking.  I know, I observed the onset of dementia in my own parents. I witnessed their increasing bewilderment as their familiar world around them became more and more incomprehensible.

In the end they hardly recognized either my brother or myself. Their capability to perform basic tasks declined rapidly. Cooking became a major obstacle. As did attending to personal hygiene.

Quite simply they were unable to look after themselves.

This is now what Den is facing with his wife. What makes things worse, though, it the fact that they will not accept the help that is around them. They regard home assistance with grave suspicion and fear that any such is out to rob them.

Nor will they consider using the services of a local day centre for Fran; any such thing smacks of charity and this they are too proud to accept.

Unfortunately, we are not in much of a position to help except with advice and encouragement, even if they were to ask for aid.

We fear what is likely to befall our friends.

The big burn

SOME YEARS ago, we inherited a sackful of audio tapes, adding considerably to those we already had ourselves.

These days, of course, we listen to music on CDs, so the question is what to do with all these quaintly old-fashioned music recordings? Shame just to ditch them – there are some classics among them, and some, indeed, that are no longer available on either CD or tape.

A little while ago I surfed the internet and discovered that with a simple, freely downloadable bit of software called Audacity and the use my old Sony Walkman I could transfer my old tapes onto disc.

Excellent, I thought. Simple and easy. All my old recordings onto freshly minted CDs. What could be better?

Oh dear, oh dear!...

I find it’s neither easy nor simple, and certainly not quick.

While I have managed to get my head around this software package, the results are – so far – rather disappointing. The CDs are not even as clear or as sharp as the old tapes, and what’s more the “burn” process is by no means problem-free either.

At the bottom of my rubbish box now is a stack of discards, of CDs which, for one reason or another, failed to burn properly, or at all, and which are now useless.

The faintness of the recorded sounds – and the resulting distortions – make them painful to listen to, and they all seem to have a “dead” quality which the tapes certainly lacked. By eliminating all the hiss and click of the original recording, somehow the warmth and life of the music has got deleted too.

And that leaves aside the problem of fitting a 90 minute tape onto an 80 minute disc, and the magical way that tracks seem to transpose themselves for no apparent reason.

The result is, once again, modern technology has left yours truly an unhappy – and deeply frustrated – bunny.

Whether I shall continue with this “big burn” is now seriously in question;  I might just splash out on a new cassette player instead.

Quizzing

IT APPEARS we’ve become addicts to TV quiz shows. The likes of University Challenge, Pointless and Tipping Point never go by without us giving them a viewing.

The last two we often record for later in the evening, so keen are we to get our daily “fix”.

And sometimes we feel a sense of personal triumph when we get a good answer.

It’s just a little unfortunate that the two subjects that people find the most interesting are also the two we are usually hopeless at: sport and pop music.

With the exception, perhaps, of Wimbledon we’ve no interest in sporting achievements or the people who accomplish them.

And the sort of music we do enjoy bears no relationship to contemporary pop – or indeed to the pop of the last few decades. Anything much after the 1960s is really a closed book to us.

But ask us questions on literature – especially the classical stuff – French chanson, food and wine, history and geography and we’re in our element. In other words the very subjects that most contestants dread.

So, on the odd occasion when I do get a sporty- or poppy-type question right the sense of accomplishment is all the more satisfying. Especially so when the other competitors fail to answer correctly.

I just hope we’re not getting unhealthily competitive.